


Super Sarcastic 64

by IceQueenOriginal



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Cute, Escape, Fun, Love, M/M, Singing, Song Lyrics, mario au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 10:26:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17140067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceQueenOriginal/pseuds/IceQueenOriginal
Summary: Patton and Roman show that they are more than damsels in distress. Direct Sequel to Super Sarcastic Bros. 3





	Super Sarcastic 64

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first song fanfic. I hope I did okay.

Pairings: Prinxiety and Logicality

Author’s Note: This fic is a direct sequel to Super Sarcastic Bros 3, you have to read that to understand why certain things are happening. Also, this is my first song fic so please be gentle. Once again, this is for @sugarglider9603 Mario AU. Warning, there is a bit of cursing.

Virgil gently knocked on Roman’s door before walking in. The prince was fast asleep, snoring softly. Virgil smiled at his boyfriend and gently placed the food he brought Roman on the nightstand. He noticed that Roman was laying on his side so Virgil straightens him out and tucked him into the bed.

Virgil caressed Roman’s cheek. Roman was calm and still, something Virgil couldn’t remember the last time he saw it. He wished it was under different circumstances. His eyes trailed down Roman’s body and landed on the large bandages wrapped around Roman’s side. It had only been two weeks since the incident but thankfully some of Roman’s injuries had already healed. Virgil’s heart ached as he recalled the day Roman opened up and told them what had happened. It crushed him as he saw the pain in Roman’s eyes as he recalled the events.

Virgil was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice lift his arms up. Roman wrapped them around Virgil’s waist and pulled him onto his chest.

 

Virgil laughed and gently pressed his lips against Roman’s. “Good morning my sleeping prince.”

“Good morning to you too my darling hero.”

Virgil laughed as he slowly got up. He and Roman exchanged smiles and Virgil began to caress Roman’s cheek again. “Feeling any better?”

“You ask me this every morning for the past two weeks and I tell you every morning that, of course, I’m okay”

“You know what I mean honey. How’s your…” Virgil couldn’t bring himself to say it. He didn’t want to acknowledge it existed. If he didn’t acknowledge it, then he could pretend the incident never happened. He could forget that he and Roman had fought. He could forget that he let his emotions take over. He could forget he left Roman alone. He could forget he let this happen.

“My stab wound? It’s healing.”

Virgil flinched when he heard it called by its real name. Roman frowned and cupped his face. Virgil didn’t turn to face him, kissing the soft hand that was gently placed over his mouth. Just two weeks ago, they were so callous and bruised that Roman was afraid to touch him. Roman hide all his wounds, not wanting Virgil to see him in an ugly state. Virgil reassured him that he would never find him ugly, that was what got Roman to really open up.

“How are you love?”

“Hm? I’m fine honey.”

“No, you’re not. You’ve been taking care of me 24/7 while ignoring how you feel.” Virgil looked down shamefully, not knowing what to say. “I know you’re having nightmares Virgil and I know you can’t look at certain parts of my body without running the risk of crying. Babe please, talk to me.”

Virgil slowly turned to Roman and when he saw that Roman’s eyes were pleading, the dam broke. He let Roman pull him down and cry into his chest.

“I-I-I…t-thought…I thought you would die…the note…had blood on it…I thought he was going to kill you…!”

Roman held him close and gently played with his hair. “Keep talking baby. I’m listening”

~

Each of the seven danger noodles poked their heads into their father’s room. Scattered throughout the room were papers and blueprints. Some were ripped, others had words that were scribbled out. Bowceit hadn’t left the room in several days. He did keep his promise and took the danger noodles on vacation for a week. The second they return to the castle, Bowceit ran into his room and locked the door. Eventually, he unlocked the door so that the danger noodles could bring him food. He may be evil but he would never in a million years worry them.

The other danger noodles pushed Bowceit Jr forward, forcing him to talk some sense into their father. Bowceit Jr. slithered over to him and gave him a hug. Bowciet dropped everything to hug him back.

“Ah, dad! Don’t be sad! You’re the best villain ever!”

“Thanks, son! This is why you’re my favorite!” The other danger noodles gasped and slithered over to Bowciet to give him a hug.

He laughed at him. “Thank you, kids, but you don’t have to worry about me. I’m not upset.”

Lemmy looked at him confused “Then why–”

“Haven’t you shower in several days?” Wendy asked as she made her way to be in her rightful place on Bowceit’s shoulder.

Bowceit let out a small chuckle before glaring at her “Tread lightly honey.” Wendy huffed as Bowceit turned towards the other danger noodles. “I am extremely happy and the reason I am is that I have come up with the evilest, most intelligent, most perfect plan in the word!” Bowceit threw his arms up in celebration, expecting the danger noodles to reply. He instead was greeted with the sight of the danger noodles looking between each other, warning the others not to engage their father.

Ludwig did not get the message. “Didn’t you say your last plan was your greatest plan–”

“Shut up Ludwig, this is why no one likes you.” The danger noodles began to bicker between each other, Wendy even jumped off of Bowciet’s shoulder to join the brawl.

Bowciet frowned at them before roaring. That silence them immediately. “AS I WAS SAYING! This is my greatest plan yet! Forget about any plans I made before this, this is the one! This is the plan that will get me everything I have ever wanted.” Bowciet walked over to the balcony and pushed the doors open. “TODAY! I WILL DEFEAT THOSE PLUMBERS!”

The danger noodles cheered for their father, even though they had no confidence in him whatsoever.

Bowceit turned to his children. “Any questions?”

Wendy raised her tail.

“Yes, sweetie pie?”

“Does that mean you’ll take a shower?”

~

Patton walked through the Mushroom Kingdom happily, arm in arm with Logan. Today had been perfect. Logan surprised him with a trip to the beach where they walked hand in hand. Patton wasn’t surprised, it was their one year anniversary. They exchange plenty of kisses and loving gazes as they shared milkshakes on the boardwalk. Logan had given Patton a bracelet and promise to be there forever. Now they were heading back home to the market. Their targets were ice cream and toppings. Patton wanted to make him an ice cream sundae, despite the fact that Logan constantly questioned why they didn’t just get ice cream at the boardwalk.

It was all an excuse, Patton had ordered his Talyns and Thomases to set up the castle for an anniversary party for just the two of them. Then the next day, they would celebrate with Roman and Virgil. 

Logan smiled lovely as Patton began to skip and sing. He was so happy that he was able to spend this day with absolutely no issue.

“SOMEONE, HELP!”

Logan had to bite his lip to suppress the groan, he could feel the universe mocking him. Another set of pleads for help brought him and Patton to a cliff. They looked down to see a Talyn holding onto a branch sticking out of the side of the cliff for dear life. Next to the couple was a rock tied with a broken rope, the other half was around the Talyn’s waist. Below the river flowed angrily, not willing to catch them gently.

Logan analyzed the situation quickly and untied the rope, only to tie it around his waist moments later. He handed the end of the rope to Patton as he spoke: “Okay, honey, I’m going to need you to hold this end very tightly so I don’t fall.” Patton nodded, ignoring the fact that he has never lifted anything heavier than a teacup in his entire life.

“Great, any questions?”

“Yes, how exactly am I supposed to do this Lo?”

“You can do it, baby, I believe in you.”

Patton took a deep breath gave Logan a good luck kiss before Logan began to climb climbed down. The sudden shift in weight shocked Patton so much that he nearly dropped Logan. He was able to recover quickly and gave Logan an encouraging smile. Logan made sure Patton was okay before making his way down to the Talyn. As soon as Logan was in reach, the Talyn wrapped their arms around Logan, thanking him for the rescue. Logan simply nodded and pulled on the rope to tell Patton to pull them up.

Patton was ecstatic. He had helped Logan with a rescue. He happily walked backward, out of view, ready to celebrate with Logan and tell his friends what they did together.

Suddenly, Patton felt himself bump into something. When he went to turn to ask who was in his way, a hand went over his mouth and an arm across his waist.

“Good afternoon your majesty,” Bowciet whispered. Patton struggled against his grip, not wanting his perfect date to be ruined.

Bowceit snatched the rope out of Patton’s hands. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you less you want me to drop them.” Patton stopped struggling and let out a muffled sigh. Bowciet smirked and handed the rope to a Koopa. Bowciet took off with Patton as the Koopa pulled Logan and Talyn up. The Talyn took off as soon as they got onto solid ground. Logan watched them run off before turning to “Patton”. He was none too thrilled to see a Koopa.

Still, Logan kept silent as he made his way over to the Koopa. It attempted to run away, it didn’t get very far.

“Where. Is. Patton?!”

~

Virgil and Roman were enjoying their lunch on Roman’s king-sized bed. Virgil was feeling a lot better which in turn made Roman feel better. Virgil insisted on making them lunch which resulted in Roman trying his first peanut butter and jelly and needing a kitchen renovation.

“Virgil?”

“I’m very sorry about your kitchen.”

“I know honey, you’ve said it five times and I’ve forgiven you. I was going to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

“Can we go for a walk today?” Roman looked up at the ceiling “I’ve been cooped up in this room for two weeks. I want to see my babies.”

“Are you sure you can walk?”

“Doctor Talyn said my legs are completely healed. Please, Virg? I’m so bored!” Roman threw his hands up dramatically, winced slightly as his joints cracked.

Virgil bit his lips, he wasn’t very comfortable with this idea. However, Roman had one move with a 100% success rate. His puppy eyes. Roman took Virgil’s hand to make him see the puppy eyes. Virgil was not about to given that easily. He covered his eyes with his other hand, his blush was very obvious. Roman retaliated by bringing Virgil’s hand to his lips. He gently kissed it and slowly made his way up Virgil’s arm.

Virgil cracked when Roman got to his shoulder. “Alright! Alright! We can go?”

“Should we wait until your blush is gone~”

“Don’t make me change my mind Princey.”

Roman couldn’t help but giggle at his stormcloud. Virgil smiled softly when the giggles hit his ears. It was innocent and pure, just like the flowers that roman adored so much. Roman could be a child again and have no worries bring him down. Roman was at peace among the flowers, almost delicate. Virgil was so lucky to have picked him among the thousands of other flowers. Roman was one of a kind. 

Virgil hopped off the bed and stood in front of Roman. Roman was able to move his legs over the side of the bed but once they touched the ground, Roman forgot to walk. He pressed his hands into the bed but he couldn’t seem to get himself up.

“You can do it, baby, I believe in you.” Roman, inspired by those words, was able to get himself up. He made it a few steps without stumbling, Virgil giving him the physical and emotional support he needed. A few Talyns and Thomases help Roman get dressed as Virgil collected his umbrella and crown.

As soon as he was finished, Roman looped his arm with Virgil’s and they slowly descended the stairs. Suddenly, the doors burst open. Virgil got into a defensive position, expecting Bowciet or one of his minions. He instead was met with an enraged Logan.

“Bro? What’s wrong?”

“Patton’s been kidnapped again! That’s what’s wrong!”

“Oh my.” Virgil anxiously turned to Roman “I’m really sorry honey, but I need to go help him.”

 

Roman offered him a soft smile, ignoring the heartbreaking pain in his chest. “It’s okay. I get it. Go save Pat.”

“…I know how much you wanted to go.”

 

“It’s okay, really. I’ll just go with Thomas and Talyn” Talyn and Thomas nodded and saluted their prince.

“Okay…Stay safe.” Virgil gave Roman a small peck on the cheek before running out with Logan.

Roman let out a small sigh before smiling at Thomas and Talyn. “Well, shall we?”

~  
Normally, Patton would be silent while Bowciet went on and on about his latest plan, but today was different. Patton was angry. Not only was his day with Logan, but he was still very angry at Bowceit for what he did to Roman.

Bowceit took notice of Patton scowl and the fact that he has yet to uncross his arm. Bowceit’s minions were terrified by the aura Patton seemed to give off, only able to place a chain while a ball at the end around his waist before running off.

“Now I know why you’re upset.” Patton was very ready to yell at Bowceit but he was interrupted by Bowceit continuing to monologue. “I rush you into marriage without thinking about what you want. But that will change! For I will give you these gifts!” Bowceit clapped his hands and the danger noodles came out. Each held a different gift. Iggy held necklace while Roy had a purse. Bowceit Jr. pressed a button to reveal that the back courtyard had been replaced a stage.

“Now I know Roman is bigger drama prince between the two of you but I figured you could put on performances with the kids. You’re still scowling, not enough? Because I can get you so much more. Unlike that plumber.”

“WHAT ARE YOU?! AN IDIOT?!” Bowceit jumped at Patton’s sudden outburst and the danger noodles hide behind their father in terror.

Despite the weight of the ball and chain, Patton was able to march forward, though it was only two steps. “WHY DO YOU THINK I WOULD EVER MARRY YOU?! ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO ROMAN!”

“It was his fault. If he had just accepted my proposal right away, he wouldn’t have had to be locked in that room!”

“YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE KIDNAPPED HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE! LIKE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE KIDNAPPED ME!”

“Okay, I’m sick of your yelling! Minions! Take my groom to his room! He clearly needs time to cool off!”

Patton stuck out his tongue as two Koopas grabbed his arms. “Hmph. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.” There were loud gasps from the danger noodles, they had never heard Patton even ay heck. The minions looked between each other in shock, only hearing that type of language from Logan. Patton felt a sense of pride in this feat, despite the fact he hated cursing.

They all looked at Bowceit to see how he would react. Bowceit’s eyes were dark but he said nothing. After a tense-filled minute, Bowceit walked over to Patton, tower over the small prince. Patton swallowed, tempted to apologize for yelling and beg for forgiveness. But then he remembered Roman telling him how he had to beg for the minions to give him a break so that he could throw up blood. Patton began to scowl at Bowceit but gasps when the villain ripped the chain around his waist in half.

Bowceit grabbed Patton’s arm, making the prince wince from the press. “On second thought, I’ll deal with him.” Patton was terrified, struggling against Bowceit’s grip as he pulled him alone. Bowceit paused in front of a Magikoopa “Get everything ready for phase 2.” 

He continued to drag the prince into the castle, ignoring the prince’s pleads for help.

~

Roman smiled as he watched Talyn and Thomas run through his garden. They were very impressed at what the prince had done. Roman slowly made his way to the edge of the garden, contemplating what he should add next.

“Maybe I could start vegetable garden…” Roman ran his hands over the prairie gentian, the flowers he would use for the dyes when making Virgil’s clothes. Picking one, he was transported back to their first meeting. How shy Virgil was, how flirty he himself was. Roman could laugh at his past self. Running the flower through his gloved finger, he decided to make Virgil a present.

“Hey Thomas, Talyn should I–” He was cut off by Talyn suddenly screaming. He turned and saw Magikoopa using his magic to make to make Talyn and Thomas float far from Roman’s reach.

Bowceit smirked as he piloted his Koopa Clown Car close enough to Roman that he could feel the wind of the from the propeller. He pets Wendy’s head, she insisted on coming because she loved the sweater Roman knitted for her.

“Pince Roman of Sarasaland. What a surprise seeing you here!”

“In my own garden?”

“…Yes” Both Roman and Wendy rolled their eyes. Bowceit gently nudged Wendy with his head as Roman twirled his umbrella casually.

“So are you going to put my friends down now?”

“Depends.”

“On?”

“How willing you are to come with me.” Roman looked at Talyn and Thomas pleading him not to. Bowceit snapped his fingers and Magikoopa shake Thomas and Talyn.

Roman gasped and begged Bowceit “Stop it! Put them down!”

“Is that a yes Roman?” Bowceit tried to fight the smirk. Roman watched in horror as Magikoopa waved his wand up, ready to throw Thomas and Talyn down.

“STOP! YES! YES!” Magikoopa put Thomas and Talyn down. Roman ran as fast as he could to them, only to be stopped by two Koopas tackling him. Roman hissed in pain when one land on his injured side. They bound his wrists together and dragged him back over to Bowceit.

“Sorry no time for hugs and kisses, we’re on a schedule.”

Roman frowned at Bowceit then turned to Talyn and Thomas “Run inside and lock the door. I’ll be alright.” The Talyn and Thomas were hesitant but soon ran inside when Magikoopa sent a blast their way.

Roman struggled against the rope. Bowceit waved his finger at Roman as if he was disciplining a child. “Uh ah. You promise not to fight. For a whole month Roman. The month is not up.”

“Oh, yea? Two can play at that game. You promised not to touch me.”

Bowceit chuckled “I know and I haven’t laid a finger on you.”

Roman growled “Okay smartass, do you really think Virgil’s going to believe that when he sees me? He’ll beat you into the ground without a moment’s hesitation.”

“That’s precisely what I want?”

“Wait, what? Has Logan hit you too many times in the head? Or has Patton’s one millionth and one no finally got through your stupid head and now you’ve moved on to only harassing me?”

Bowceit stared darkly at Roman and snapped his fingers, a gag was placed tightly over Roman’s mouth. “Finally, you shut up.” Bowceit jumped out of the copter and stood in front of Roman, almost making the prince flitch. Bowceit turned and walked forward while Wendy somehow piloted the copter. The Koopas pushed Roman forward, making him follow Bowceit.

“You see Prince, contrary to popular belief, those pesky plumbers aren’t that smart or strong. The two of them can only handle saving one prince at a time. So once your little scaredy cat sees you in danger, one of two things will happen:

1) Logan will completely ignore you and Virgil will follow him. They’ll save Patton and Virgil will watch helplessly as you marry me.

2) Virgil will make Logan help him save you and Patton will marry me.

It will be simply perfect.”

Roman let out a muffled groan, he thought that this plan was utterly ridiculous. But he couldn’t help but worry about Virgil having a panic attack due to a big decision.

“Oh, there is a third option. You could just agree to marry me now. I’ll let Patton go without telling him why and we can be married in secret. So what do you say?”

Roman shook the gag off. “No way in hell would I ever marry you.”

“Oh come now, we were engaged once.”

 

“Yeah, after you kidnapped and tortured me, you sick son of a—” A Koopa stuffed the gag back into Roman’s mouth as Bowceit laughed.

As if someone flipped a switch, Bowceit became serious again. “Double knot that gag. And Wendy, sweetie, try to fly that thing as quietly as possible. I don’t want any plumbers ruining my plans.”

~

Logan was silent throughout the entire journey, making Virgil slightly nervous. Logan was always pissed when Bowceit kidnapped Patton but this time struck a chord. It was their one year anniversary. He and Patton were going to finally have a full day alone, one filled with their love and affection for one another. As always, Bowceit had to ruin it.

Before they went to battle the Whomp King, Logan needed a break. He paused to lean against a tree before punching a hole in it.

“Holy shit bro!” Virgil jumped away from his brother in fear he would be the next thing to get a hole in.

“Sorry…I’m just a bit stressed.”

Virgil walked over to Logan and gave his shoulder a squeeze. “No, I understand. You have every right to be mad that your boyfriend was kidnapped.”

“It’s not that…well, it’s not JUST that…I was right there Virg. I could have easily stopped it but I failed him. And on our anniversary too.”

“You didn’t fail him L. And even if you did, you’re making it up to him by rescuing him now. So don’t beat yourself up.” Virgil pulled his twin into a hug. Logan happily hugged back, though the hug did make him miss Patton’s.

“Thanks, Virgil.”

“No problem Logan.” Logan smiled at his twin before it immediately dropped when Logan noticed something over Virgil’s shoulder. His twin didn’t notice. “And really, it’s okay to be upset. I don’t know how I would react if Bowceit kidnapped Roman after the incident.”

Logan tried not amused. “Well if you turn around, we’ll both find out.”

“Wait, what?” Virgil wheeled around and his stomach dropped. Two Koopas were nudging his tied up boyfriend forward as Bowceit march in front of him.

“HEY!” The mini parade stopped and looked at Virgil on from the base of the hill where the Whomp King waited for Logan and him. Only Roman was relieved to see him. “LET HIM GO!”

Bowceit cursed. “Dammit, I didn’t think they were this far! Magikoopa!” The Magikoopa nodded and levitated Roman and Bowceit into the clown copter as Virgil ran towards them. Magikoopa then pulled the Whomp King from his spot at the apex of the hill, creating a barrier between the plumber and his prince.

Virgil forced himself to stop running and stomped his foot, knowing he couldn’t defeat the Whomp King before Bowceit was miles away with Roman.

There was only one thing he could do, he looked Roman dead the eyes and shouted “I’M COMING BABY! JUST HOLD ON!” Roman smiled at Virgil, despite the gag. Bowceit let out a maniacal laugh as he flew off with Roman.

Logan ran to his brother’s side, ready to take his frustrations out on the Whomp King. “So Virgil, what would you say your reaction to Roman being kidnapped would be?”

“I’M FUCKING PISSED.”

“I figured. Now take all that anger to beat the crap out of this guy.”

“WITH PLEASURE!” 

~

Patton pulled on the chains around his wrists. Bowceit had locked him in the dungeon as punishment for shouting. He was kind of glad, figuring having his limbs chained separately was better than any other punishment. He didn’t like the dungeon itself. Normally, Bowceit would lock him in the tower with a bed, no chains and various visits by the danger noodles. Here it was dark and quiet. The only thing besides the bars keeping him locked in was the stool he was sitting on.

Just then, the door that allowed entrance into the dungeon. Patton had to cover his eyes from the sudden light.

Bowceit opened the door of the cell and walked in. Patton took note that he didn’t close it.

Bowceit smiled gleefully at Patton, making the prince uncomfortable. “I figured it out, Pat.”

“Figured what out?”

“Why you didn’t like any of my gifts. You don’t like material things and frankly, I don’t like buying them. So I got you something that I think we will both like. Bring him in.”

Patton expected a kitten, he really did. You can only imagine the shock on his face when he saw a Hammer Bro dragged a tied up Roman in.

“Roman!” Patton jumped up from his stool and ran towards Roman. The chains stopped him before he made it halfway.

The hammer bro shoved Roman into the cell, causing Roman to fall. It quick tied Roman’s ankles together as the Prince tried to give Patton a reassuring look.

“Why did you take him?! Haven’t you done enough to him?!” Patton attempted to pull the chains out of the way, he just wanted to hug his best friend. Roman tried to force his body towards Patton but the Hammer Bro stood on his feet, preventing him from doing so.

Bowceit found the site amusing. “You always said you wanted Roman at your wedding and I need a best man.”

“You need a best man?! Why?!” Bowceit didn’t reply, only exiting the cell and locking it. He waved goodbye to the two before exiting the dungeon.

Luckily for Roman, the hammer bro followed Bowceit out of the cell and he hopped his way to Patton, pretending it didn’t hurt his knees. He made his way over to the now sitting Patton’s left arm and Patton was able to lower the gag.

Roman smiled at his best friend. “Hey, Pat…”

“Roman! Are you okay?!”

“Yea, yea, I’m fine.”

Patton stood up from the stool. “Please sit Roman. Don’t argue about it either, you’re still hurt.”

Roman sighed and forced himself onto the stool with Patton’s help. “Listen, Pat, something’s about to go down. Bowceit didn’t tell me much except he needs us as far apart as possible. I don’t know what he’s planning but he seems VERY confident in his plans.”

“Oh my.” Patton began to pace back and forth, as much as he could. “What are we going to do? We can’t let Bowceit win but you’re injured and I can’t fight.”

“And he took my favorite umbrella!” Roman whined.

“He took mine too!” Patton sighed and sat on the floor of the cell.

“Don’t be sad Pat, we’ll think of something.”

“I hope so Ro.” The two sat in silence, worrying about their plumbers.

Roman shifted himself to face Patton fully. “Hey Pat, quick question before we start thinking in silence.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you any idea why there’s a giant stage outside?”

Patton rolled his eyes “Oh that. Bowceit had it made as a gift for me so that he could ‘woo’ me. He said I could put on performances whenever I want.”

“Put on…performances?”

“Mhmm, but it was so obviously for you. I don’t what he expects me to do with it.” Patton paused his rant when he saw the look on Roman’s face. It was an all too familiar face. It was the face that got them in trouble for climbing onto the roof of the castle when they were five, it was the face that led them to build an entire island just for baseball. It was a dangerous face, but it always worked out for them.

“Uh oh. I know that face. Someone has a plan.”

Roman smirked “You bet I do. Come closer.”

~  
Bowceit summoned the danger noodles in his room. He held the princes’ umbrellas in front of him, Roman’s in his right hand and Patton’s in his left.

“Okay kids, we’re going to play a game. Who do you think will marry me? Patton and Roman. Go to the side you.”

Four danger noodles went to the left and the other four went to the right. “Oh, well that was underwhelming. 50/50 chance it is!” Bowceit sat on the floor so that the danger noodles would climb onto him. The took their favorite positions on his body. Bowceit could say that he was at peace.

He could say that until a Koopa walked in. “Sir–sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

Bowceit shot up, the danger noodles still on him. “How many times do I have to tell you, people, to knock first?! Now, what is so important?!”

“It’s the princes.”

“I swear if the next words out of your mouth are they escaped, I will eat you alive.”

“NO! NO! They just want to speak to you. They said something about apologizing to you.”

“Apologizing? You’re sure the princes said that?”

“Yes, they also said they need to speak to you immediately.” Bowceit gently put the danger noodles on his bed and walked down to the dungeon. He paused in front of the cell. He watched the scene before him. The princes were sitting quietly, clearly waiting for him.

Bowceit crossed his arms “Okay, out with it. What do you two want?”

Roman started “We wanted to apologize.”

Patton continued “For all the…ruckus we caused by our actions.”

Bowceit paused before laughing. “What do you think I am, an idiot?” Patton covered Roman’s mouth before he could respond. “I know what you two are doing?”

“You do?” Patton asked sheepishly.

“Yes, I know you two aren’t actually sorry. You guys are just saying what I want to hear so I’ll take you out of the dungeon.”

Roman shook Patton’s hand off his mouth. “Hey! We’re not that shallow!” Bowceit gave Roman a look. “Okay fine, maybe we are. But come on! We’re so bored down here!”

Patton followed Roman’s lead “Yes, we are. It’s too quiet down here. Plus, we want to see the danger noodles.” 

Bowceit leaned against the bars, clearly amused. “Finally, some truth out of you two.” Bowceit unlocked the cell door. “It’s fun to see you two groveling. Camden!”

Patton hid behind Roman as best he could when Camden walked in. Camden was intimidating, his skull face terrified everyone around him. Everyone but Roman. Roman saw him as a challenge. Camden paused, saying nothing as he stared at the two princes.

Bowceit put his hand on Camden’s shoulder as if Camden was his son, smiling proudly. “Camden, get Prince Patton out of those chains and untie Roman’s legs.” Camden nodded and did as he was told.

But that wasn’t the end of Bowceit’s demands. “Such a waste of rope. Tie Prince Patton’s wrists.” Roman frowned at Bowceit but was unable to do anything about.

Patton whimpered when Camden tied his wrist, the skeleton was a bit too rough.

Bowceit walked out of the cell, thinking he finally had the upper hand on the princes. “Bring them to my room.”

Camden nodded and grabbed the Princes. His left hand gripped Patton’s right arm and his right hand held Roman’s left arm. The princes knew it would be fruitless try to run. Even if they went separate ways, Camden could separate himself and chase after both of them. They let Camden drag them to Bowceit’s room.

Once there, Camden forced them to sit on the bed and tied their wrists to individual bedposts. Bowceit leaned against his desk, watching the princes. “Okay, you’re here. You two better not make me regret this.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Roman replied, making Patton bite his lip to stifle a giggle.

Bowceit growled at them, tired of the princes never taking him seriously.

Roman decided to continue their plan “So Bowceit, Patton was telling me about the stage you set up for him.”

“He did? Did he also tell you how he immediately hated it and now it is a waste?”

“I said I was sorry…” Patton mumbled.

Roman continued “He did but I’m surprised at you Bowceit. Why on earth would you give the stage to Patton if you were planning on bringing me here?”

Bowceit went to reply to him but stopped. He hadn’t really thought that trough. He hoped that wasn’t a bad sign.

Roman smiled, he enjoyed seeing the villain flustered “Oh how I would love to perform on that stage.”

Patton replied, “I would love to see you perform!”

“Well, I’d love to see you perform as well Pat!” The princes turned their heads to Bowceit and he knew what was come. He was a father after all.

The Princes begged like children to put on a performance. “Just one!” they shouted. “It won’t be too long” they pleaded.

“FINE!” Bowceit shouted “FINE! FINE! YOU CAN PUT ON THE STUPID PERFORMANCE! Except you’re doing this on my terms. Each of you will do one thing, separately. I want at least one of you by my side so neither of you can try to pull anything. And then you two will immediately get ready for the wedding and I better not hear one single complain out of either of you.”

“Of course, we totally understand. Just one thing.”

Bowceit sighed “What Roman?”

“Can you go get Royal Joan Boo to play the piano? They always are my pianist when I perform. Pretty please?”

Bowceit looked down at his watch, there was still plenty of time before Logan and Virgil. “Fine, I’ll get them to come. Just stop asking me for things.” Bowceit stormed out of the room.

Patton couldn’t control his laughter. “It’s working,” he whispered.

Roman shushed him. He listened and heard the floors creak as Bowceit turned around. He needed to act quickly. “You’re totally right, Pat. We got him wrapped around our finger. He acts like he’s this big tough guy but the second we say jump, he says how high.” Both princes laughed at Roman’s comments.

Bowceit growled and kicked open the door. “THAT’S IT! SOMEONE SHUT THEM UP!” Two Koopas stuffed gags into each of the princes’ mouth. “I’M SICK OF YOU TWO ACTING LIKE I AM NOT A THREAT! SO THIS IS WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN! You’ll get your stupid performance, just one. Only Roman. Patton’s not leaving my side. Then the second he’s done, Roman’s going with Camden and you’re coming with me, Patton. Got it?!”

The princes nodded and that satisfied Bowceit. He turned to the danger noodles and spoke softly “Watch them. Make sure they don’t move whatsoever. Especially don’t let speak” He then left.

Roman and Patton were so happy that they had the gags because they burst out laughing.

~  
About five minutes after Bowceit left, Wendy climbs onto the bed and up Roman’s arm. She paused by his mouth and leaned down to remove the gag.

Bowceit Jr. asked her fearfully “What are you doing?! You heard what dad said!”

Wendy was unfazed “How’s he going to know? He’s not here. Relax. I’ll put it back when he comes back.”

Wendy quickly lowered the gags despite Bowceit Jr.’s protest. Roman flashed her signature smile at her. “Why thank you, Wendy.”

“Your welcome Prince Roman. Now about this performance…”

“Ah, there always is a catch. Tell you what. Well let you, all of you, take part in my performance if you untie us.”

Lenny turned his head confused. “Why?”

“We want to plan this out nicely. Your dad put all the paper on his desk, out of reach. We could really use them.”

Morton spoke up “But dad wants you guys just to sit there! What happens when he comes back and sees you guys writing? He’ll be very mad”

Roman pretended to think “How about this? We’ll work by the window. That way we can see him when he comes back. And we’ll pass you guys the papers so that you guys can memorize your lines and what we need for the performance and you guys can destroy it.”

The danger noodles formed a circle and whispered between each other. They turned to Roman and Bowceit Jr. spoke: “You got a deal.”

Iggy and Roy untied Roman and Patton and they ran to the window to get to work. Roman didn’t technically lie. They did write things for the performance but that wasn’t the only thing they wrote. As Roman drew up what kind of lights they should have, Patton wrote a letter addressed to Logan and Virgil. It outlines the plan the princes had set up. Once Roman finished the page he was working on, Patton slid him the note and worked on another “essential” piece of the plan for the performance so none of the danger noodles wouldn’t be suspicious of why only Roman was giving them plans.

They kept doing this even when the letter was finished. They were killing time for Logan and Virgil to arrive so that they could get the letter to them.

“What’s taking them so long?” Roman whispered sharply.

“Be patient Ro,” Patton whispered back. To his horror, he could see Bowceit making his way up the path to the castle.

Roman noticed too and folded the letter into an airplane. He looked around once more and noticed a familiar blue figure making his way over with purple figure following behind him. Roman smiled and chucked the letter out the window.

Wendy noticed him halfway out the window. “What are you doing Prince Roman?”

“I thought I saw your dad so I needed to get a better look.” Roman pulled himself back in “And it is him.” The danger noodles began to freak out.

Patton uttered words of reassurance that they wouldn’t get in trouble and they sat back on the bed. The danger noodles quickly cleaned up the room, anticipating their father would walk in any minute. 

~

Usually, Virgil would let Virgil take the lead. He was fine being in the background and letting his twin shine. But not today, he was in such a bad mood that all his anxiety was thrown out the window.

Once they neared the castle, Virgil said confidently “Come on Logan, let’s storm this place.” As Virgil took a step forward, Logan suddenly grabbed him and pulled him into a bush. Virgil struggled against his grip, wondering what the hell his twin was doing.

Logan covered Virgil’s mouth and shushed him. With his free hand, Logan pointed at the entrance of the castle. Virgil looked and saw Bowceit walking in with Royal Joan Boo. They were talking about something neither plumber could hear.

Once the two royals were inside, Logan moved his hand. Virgil whispered aggressively “Why is Joan here?! What?! Is Remy going to show up next?!”

“Don’t give him any ideas.” Logan looked up just in time to see something sailing towards them. He tapped Virgil’s shoulder. “Hey bro can you do me a favor?”

“What?!”

“Catch that” Before Virgil could reply, Logan threw him in the air. The paper airplane hit him in the face and he grabbed it.

“Warn me next time…” Virgil unfolded the letter, seeing what was so important. “It’s a letter..from Ro and Pat!”

Dear Logan and Virgil,

We have bad news and good news. The bad news is that Bowceit has a very different plan than usual. We don’t know much but we have a feeling that if you guys just storm in like you usually do, it won’t work. The good news is that we have a plan. In fact, if you guys are reading this letter, that means the plan is working. See Logan? I can use facts and strategies too. Roman! We only have this piece of paper to tell them! Anyway, don’t come in right away. Roman’s going to make a huge distraction! You’ll know what it will be when it happens.

Love,

Patton and Roman

At the bottom of the of the page were two kisses, one was pink and the other was orange. Logan and Virgil looked between each other and shrugged.

Logan said “Let’s get closer to the castle. I doubt Roman do anything small but we can never be more careful.”

Virgil nodded “Sure.” They stepped forward before it was Virgil’s turn to stop Logan. “Wait, before all of this goes down…” Virgil ripped the letter in half, giving Logan the side with Patton’s kiss.

“Seriously Virgil?”

“Yes serious. This makes me feel better.” Virgil hugged the paper and put it in his pocket. As Virgil walked towards the castle, Logan kissed Patton’s kiss quickly.

“I saw that!”

“Shut it!”

~

Bowceit walked up to the princes, happy that they hadn’t moved. He pulled Patton’s gag off but had Camden remove Roman, he was too paranoid of anything ruining his perfect plan.

“Okay Princey, Joan is here.”

“Why thank you. Now can you untie us so we can actually do this?” Roman replied, in a very good mood.

“Fine but if either of you two tries to pull anything, the wedding will be held over a pit of lava.”

“We won’t, we swear!’ Patton said with a smile. Camden untied Roman and Patton and dragged them out to the courtyard. The danger noodles set up a table with two candles and a single candle. Camden placed Patton in one of the chairs and brought Roman to the stage. Roman waved at Joan who was sitting a piano and walked over to them.

Joan waved Camden away “Give us a minute to deliberate.” Camden nodded and left. “So what the hell is going on Roman?”

Roman chuckled “Nothing you have to worry about. But whatever happens, don’t stop playing the piano. Okay?”

“Whatever you say Princey.”

Bowceit Jr. slithered up to Roman. “Everything’s ready Roman.”

Roman smiled “Perfect. Let’s get started.”

~

Roman turned to Joan and smiled as he grabbed the microphone. “C minor, put it in C minor.” Joan nodded and began to play.

Bowceit rolled his eyes, regretting his decision. “This is so ridiculous.”

Patton wiped his head to him and frowned “Well I want to watch so you can just keep your mouth shut!”

Bowceit would be lying if he wasn’t getting annoyed with Patton’s attitude today. However, he was good at lying. “Whatever, let’s get this over with.”

“Don’t be rude to Roman!”

“I can do whatever I want! God damn it! I’m your kidnapper, both of yours! You will do as I say!”

“HEY! ARE YOU TWO DONE?! I AM TRYING TO PERFORM!” The two snap their heads towards Roman. Patton apologized while Bowciet only rolled his eyes.

Roman huffed. “Thank you.” He cleared his throat and started again. “Joan, if you would.” Joan smiled and nodded, they once again began to play the piano.

“Where have all the good men gone

And where are all the gods?” Virgil and Logan listen in.

Logan turned to Virgil “Do you think that’s the signal?”

Virgil shook his head “No way, Roman is way too flamboyant for just singing.”

“Where’s the street-wise Hercules

To fight the rising odds?” Patton bounced along, mouthing the along. Bowceit couldn’t help but relax since the melody was very nice.

“Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?

Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream

Of what I need…” Roman smirked and pointed behind him. “HIT IT!” Suddenly, the lights of the courtyard turned on, the danger noodle appeared Roman and harmonized, and even a few fireworks went off.

Virgil looked up “That’s the signal.”

Logan nodded “let’s go!” The plumbers ran inside.

“I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night

He’s gotta be strong

And he’s gotta be fast

And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight”

Logan and Virgil ran over enemies, fueled by the energy of the song. Roman’s voice echoed throughout the castle, making enemies lose their focus.

“I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero 'til the morning light

He’s gotta be sure

And it’s gotta be soon

And he’s gotta be larger than life

Larger than life.”

Roman hopped off the stage and began to dance, Bowceit’s minions who were supposed to be guarding the courtyard joined him and began to dance. Patton cheered as danger noodles hopped up and down on the stage.

“Somewhere after midnight

In my wildest fantasy

Somewhere just beyond my reach

There’s someone reaching back for me.”

Roman took Patton’s hand and they began to dance. Bowceit got up but Wendy stopped him from interrupting the two princes, demanding her father dance with her.

“Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat

It’s gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet!”

Bowceit couldn’t say no to his little girl and began to dance with her, using it as an excuse to get closer to the princes.

“Up where the mountains meet the heavens above

Out where the lightning splits the sea

I could swear that there’s someone somewhere

Watching me.”

Roman and Patton saw their umbrellas on Bowceit’s seat and danced their way over to them.

“Through the wind and the chill and the rain

And the storm and the flood

I can feel his approach

Like the fire in my blood”

Roman suddenly handed the mic to Bowceit so that he and the rest of the danger noodles could sing the next part.

“(Like the fire in my blood)

(Like the fire in my blood)

(Like the fire in my blood)

(Like the fire in my blood)

(Hero!)”

Bowceit’s full attention was on his children sing. The princes took that opportunity to grab their umbrellas and ran up the stairs. When Bowceit Jr. went to hand the microphone back over to Roman, he was greeted by dancing villains and no Princes. Bowceit turn around just in time to see the Princes running back into the castle.

No one seemed to notice them since Joan had not stopped playing.

“THE PRINCES ARE ESCAPING! GET THEM!” The danger noodles were mesmerized by Joan’s playing that they didn’t move. Luck for Bowceit, his minions did and gave chase.

Roman and Patton jumped onto the moving platforms easily because their umbrellas gave them time to hover. As they ran through a corridor, they saw Logan and Virgil. They were on another platform, going up.

“Logan!”

“Patton?”

“Roman?!”

“Virgil!”

“GET THEM!” Roman and Patton turned to see Bowceit and the minions right behind. The princes kept running. Bowceit noticed Logan and Virgil and smirk. “New plan minions! Get the princes before the plumbers do!”

Patton and Roman came upon a hallway filled with random doors, each leading to unknown places.

“Okay! This did not go as planned! How are Logan and Virgil supposed to find us now?!” Roman asked as he squeezed Patton’s hand.

“Patton had an idea: “Keep singing! They’ll follow your voice!”

Roman shrugged and open every door as he ran, he could still hear Joan playing the piano.

“I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero 'til the morning light

And he’s gotta be sure!”

Logan and Virgil, hearing Roman’s voice, turned around and headed back the way they came.

“And it’s gotta be soon

And he’s gotta be larger than life!”

Running down a staircase, Patton and Roman were able to see Logan and Virgil at the bottom. They princes sighed of relief as they made their way down the stairs. Logan and Virgil opened their arms to catch the exhausted prince. Just then, a giant Whoop fell down, separating the Princes from their plumbers. Bowceit appeared behind the Princes, ready to snatch them. The Whomp rose up again, ready to crush whoever went under. Roman and Patton were faster, they ran under just fast enough not to be squashed. Logan and Virgil scooped up their Princes and ran to the door.

Roman was filled with adrenaline and he kept singing happily as he held onto Virgil.

“(Hero)

Oh he’s gotta be strong

And he’s gotta be fast

And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight”

Bowceit grabbed a bomb-omb and threw it at the main four. Patton used his umbrella like a baseball bat and whacked it back into Bowceit’s arms, a second before it exploded.

“I need a hero!” roman proclaimed as an explosion took place behind him.

The danger noodles cheered for Joan and they bowed. “Thank you! Thank you! You’ve been a wonderful audience!” They flew up and back to their manor.

~

Patton was practically vibrating in his boyfriend’s arms “Did you see that Lo?! Did you see what I did?!”

Logan smiled at his partner lovingly “I did sweetie pie.”

Roman chuckled “Okay, so Patton hit a bomb away, big deal. My distraction was amazing!”

Virgil kissed Roman’s head “Yes, yes it was baby.” He gently put Roman down.

Roman gently elbowed Virgil “And I didn’t fight my way out either. I kept my promise.”

“I see that babe.” Virgil frowned slightly. “Did he hurt you?”

Roman shook his head “No, he kept his promise too. He didn’t touch me, his minions did.”

Virgil scoffed “Stupid loopholes.”

Patton cuddled into Logan “Let’s not think of the bad, think of the cake I’m going to make you guys!”

Roman shook his head. “No Pat, you two are going to spend the rest of your anniversary together. We’ll see you tomorrow. My castle. Eleven o’clock.” Virgil scooped Roman up and ran off with him in a hurry. Their anniversary was soon and they wanted to start celebrating right away.

Patton giggled then looked up at Logan “I’m sorry I didn’t give you your gift earlier.”

Logan smiled and spun Patton around, making the prince laugh “Patton my love, you are gift enough.


End file.
